Marie Davis

So today I might finally manage to test out my "acting" theory. I woke up and was royally pissed at my boyfriend (not something I'd like to into detail about) but then this morning he was acting adorable, and I couldn't be mad at him anymore. I was still angry, it just wasn't directed at him any longer.

Has to go to school anyway, need those hours, need to finish so I can get out there and find a real job. So I told myself I would pretend I wasn't angry, I would pretend to be in a good mood, and maybe it would actually cheer me up, or at the very least it would keep everyone else from realizing how upset I was. :)

So far, its working. I actually feel better, I guess we'll see how far that goes.

Checking In

Hey, I know its been a while since my last post. Life has this bad habit of getting in the way.

Had a salon job for a while, working as a shampoo girl. They let me go recently. I don't know if I really wasn't doing a good enough job or if I wasn't fitting in or they just ended up not being able to afford to keep me. It didn't feel like what they said was what they meant.
I know a lot of my problem stems from my own personal issues. Social anxiety, hubris and a general dislike of people. Not to mention I'm just not the kind of person most people expect to work in this field. As far as most people are concerned, I'm the guy in my relationship.
So maybe what I need to do is create a persona for these situations. It works for other people. All I have to do is be someone else and I can fit in just fine. Why not? Introverts are not accepted in our society. Maybe one day that will change, but until then I have to pretend to be an extrovert.

Step one? Create my new persona. Give her a name, a look, an attitude all her own. She doesn't have to be my opposite. Just a louder me.

The Lipstick Jungle

It gets increasingly more difficult as I proceed through this school. Somehow I have managed to alienate all of my classmates. The one real friend I had in this class has stopped attending. I don't have confidence in my abilities. Every day is a struggle.
There is a part of me that wants to say it doesn't matter. I don't particularly want to be friends with people like them anyway, but I also don't want to feel alone. No one does.

Judging We Have Heard on High

I know its been a while since I've written, things get crazy, same old, same old. Things have changed quite a bit here. Lost some old friends, made some new ones, figure I might as well worry more about connections than personal relationships because I'm so bad at the latter.

My purpose in writing today is to express how awkward this place can be for someone like me. I believe thats what this was originally about. In the book today it was discussing clients who don't know how to use a blow dryer. So my teacher went on and on about how, unbelievable as it is, sometimes in the salon you'll run into clients that don't own one! Oh lawd! Can you imagine! The sacrilege!

Frankly, I can't wait to move up the next class and get away from this woman. I want to learn something useful. I want to go to class without being judged. I want to be taught by someone who knows what they're doing and who doesn't insist that we learn to style hair just like hers. Get over yourself, please.

Breaking Through

Navigating the territory is, at times, rather difficult. We have warring personalities in the faction I have joined. While they get along well, they tend to pull the more docile creature (a.k.a. me) in different directions. I must think fast to avoid complications.
Then there is the sweet, lovely country girl I've mentioned previously. A bond has formed, based on mutual trust and similar dispositions and circumstances. I hope we can continue to pursue this friendship. It has been too long since I've known someone I can truly empathize with.

First Impressions

Starting out, I wasn't sure what to think of my fellow students. Though there was one I quickly attached to; I was somewhat intimidated by everyone else.

Hair styling, facials, manis, pedis, all this stuff was completely foreign to me. I was on the same page as the two guys and the sweet as pie country girl, still a minority.

Three months later, there is still much I don't understand. The constant urge to wear make-up. Continually fussing over the state of your hair. The drama, oh lord the drama. I am surrounded by Divas. Still, I am entertained. Let us continue.