Checking In

Hey, I know its been a while since my last post. Life has this bad habit of getting in the way.

Had a salon job for a while, working as a shampoo girl. They let me go recently. I don't know if I really wasn't doing a good enough job or if I wasn't fitting in or they just ended up not being able to afford to keep me. It didn't feel like what they said was what they meant.
I know a lot of my problem stems from my own personal issues. Social anxiety, hubris and a general dislike of people. Not to mention I'm just not the kind of person most people expect to work in this field. As far as most people are concerned, I'm the guy in my relationship.
So maybe what I need to do is create a persona for these situations. It works for other people. All I have to do is be someone else and I can fit in just fine. Why not? Introverts are not accepted in our society. Maybe one day that will change, but until then I have to pretend to be an extrovert.

Step one? Create my new persona. Give her a name, a look, an attitude all her own. She doesn't have to be my opposite. Just a louder me.

The Lipstick Jungle

It gets increasingly more difficult as I proceed through this school. Somehow I have managed to alienate all of my classmates. The one real friend I had in this class has stopped attending. I don't have confidence in my abilities. Every day is a struggle.
There is a part of me that wants to say it doesn't matter. I don't particularly want to be friends with people like them anyway, but I also don't want to feel alone. No one does.